Michael: "Mrs. Cooper, I asked for God to give my mom a baby brother cause I don't have a baby brother or sister."

Not quite sure his mom would appreciate that...

Early Retirement

Aiden: "I used to like macaroni and cheese. I don't like it anymore."

Me: "Why don't you like it anymore?"

Aiden: "I retired from it. My mom makes it with extra cheese, and it gives me the shivers."